by: ava dickson
This summer is not a “Hot Girl Summer”. Here’s why: Law of Attraction.
Wow, you guessed it! Another lesson in manifestation brought to you by yours truly. Although I may sound like a broken record, it’s hard to ignore the basic laws of attraction in our everyday lives. If pure romance-less relationships is what you’re looking for this summer then by all means, be my guest! This article may be a hot take for some people but, if you are seeking a new way to boost your sexual esteem, lets chat about it. Just you and me.
“Hot Girl Summer” is the popular phenomenon where women who have just recently got out of a relationship (in most cases, however any woman of any kind can be subject to participation) will go out of her way to become the siren, boss bitch, sexual goddess, in order to boost her self esteem. Now, please don’t get me wrong, I support women who participate in “Hot Girl Summer” because sometimes, after heartbreak (or any case of low self esteem) all you need is some no strings attached lovin’. We’ve all been there. This issue of BL isn’t for the women who honestly are not looking for improvement in their love lives, like I stated before. But it is for those of you who feel out of touch with your own sexual energy and self confidence. If we circle back to the law of attraction it clearly states that you attract what you are. In the case of “Hot Girl Summer” you are ultimately radiating “I don’t want love” energy. Therefor the universe sends you back unloving situations. In a real world situation, for example, You are feeling like a menace. Tinder on one tab, snap on another, double fisting men by the second. Finally you get ready and you’re going out tonight with the intention of leaving with one of them. Ultimately this could be because you truly don’t want love, or because you feel insecure or lonely. Either way you’re ready to go through with it. If you are the lonely girl, he’s going to kick you out in the morning and you’re going walk out of that apartment building feeling empty and craving wholeness once again. And so the cycle persists. So if this has happened to you, don’t lie, here is how to fix that this summer.
Step one is to not rely on a man to make or break your night. Tinder on one tab and snap on another can be fun but not sustainable. If you get ready and go to a party or bars or club because you want to and not because you wanna go home with someone else, you’ll start meeting people more organically and start having more organic feelings the morning after. Let’s say you do meet a guy at the bar and you had a great time. The night is coming to a close and it’s time to leave. He invites you to come home with him. What will you do? If you say yes, you could risk feeling empty in the morning. If you say no you may never see him again. My advice? Go the fuck home. Sleep in your own bed. Take off your makeup and do your nighttime routine. Wake up and drink blue Gatorade. If this man is meant to see you again, you’ll see him at the bar next weekend. If you put off the energy that the only way to end the night out is to have sex, your subconscious mind will start to associate not having sex with a bad time out. We need to retrain our brains to never rely on men to make us feel happy or worthy. If you do see him next weekend, great! Then if you’re not feeling too drunk and neither is he, go with him and see where it goes. But a new guy every weekend with the sole purpose of “feeling good” about yourself will not fix your broken heart, it will only send temporary highs your way. By releasing this mindset and shifting into a self sustainable one it puts you in control of your sex and love life. Again, if we stop relying on men to make us feel good (and I keep repeating it because you need to hear it) we become the dictators of what makes us feel good and what lowers our vibration. Sexual Energy is sooooo sacred and special. We can’t waste it with unrealistic expectations. Stop pretending Josh from the bar last night is your new future husband and start seeing him how he sees you- some girl/guy from the bar. Put yourself in power and use it to only allow in the most beneficial vibes for yourself. It’s not selfish, it’s self care.
On the flip side, once you do start disassociating hook ups from fun nights out this summer, your subconscious will start reflecting contentment into the universe. This is because you’ve reclaimed your power, of course. You will become more consistently happy with life in general. The universe will recognize that and surround you with “good vibes” if you will. So, ladies, stop putting so much pressure on yourself to bounce back or use “Hot Girl Summer” as a tool to make other people jealous. Instead use it to reclaim your sexual energy. You do not have to share it with everyone just because you can. Do things because they genuinely make you feel good, not because of summer club culture. Remember you are unique and worthy and you are loved- pretty soon everyone else will notice too.