by: ava dickson
As the new year approaches the inevitable pressure of reinventing yourself follows. No, not follows, stalks. “New Year New Me” sounds more like a free pass to ignore your problems, fears, downfalls, beef, and subsequently insecurities. Maybe we were raised to believe December 31st is trash day and January 1st is our metaphorical revirginization. Forget the shit you were raised to believe because is the guide to authentic self improvement in the new year.
Resolutions are a fucking joke. Resolutions were made up by lazy fucking people who wanted a scapegoat from their failure to complete prior set goals in the previous year. For example, it’s one thing to say you’re going to “lose weight” but, how are you going to get there? Be honest with yourself and ask the more important questions like, “How will I keep myself motivated” “How will I make sure I’m focusing on being healthy and not just letting off numbers on a scale?” Resolutions like this are toxic for mind, body, and soul. When time isn’t taken to look and the steps required to make your goals realistic and achievable according to your lifestyle your resolutions will fall through 99% of the time. If self improvement is really the main goal we all want to accomplish then we need to focus on quality over quantity. Truth is, authentication is much more sustainable, realistic, and fulfilling than wishful resolutions. So how do we authenticate our lives? We need to focus on setting intentions not resolutions. Here is the secret formula, whore: Positive intentions + Self awareness = Authentication. Evaluating what is important to you given your current circumstances is the first step. Things like, self care, balance in your everyday routine, making time for others and yourself. Again, a resolution you may have could sound like this, “I want clear skin this year.” Okay awesome yassify that shit, but- what is causing your “bad” skin in the first place? Stress causes acne and outbreaks, foods you eat can cause overproduction of oils, imbalance and inconsistency in your self care routines can cause inconsistent results. Congratulations, you’ve completed the “Self Awareness” step of the formula. After you’ve identified the root blockages of your resolution you can move on to setting intentions. An intention is defined as “the thing that you plan to do or achieve : an aim or purpose” (Merriam-Webster, 2021). The intention could look like “I integrate healthy practices into my everyday life.” See how much more pleasant that sounds? Setting a universal positive intention and then applying it to your known weaknesses is going to authenticate your personal goals in a much more fulfilling way. No shortcuts, no judgement, just pure positive energy. So lets put our equation back together- “I integrate healthy practices into my everyday life” + “I need to work on creating stable and balanced routines” = Long lasting results that you are proud of. On the flip side you may have spent 2022 trying every hack under the sun to fix your acne and when your resolution lacks intention and self awareness it’s like solving a crime with no evidence. Trial and error works, but only when you can move forward with a positive mindset, not a failure mindset, like resolutions can stimulate.
Now that you know the secret formula to actually achieving the lifelong goal of “New Year New Me” lets discuss how we can do this without ignoring our past. Yes, letting go is important and valuable and necessary. However forgetting about the lessons your road blocks and setbacks taught your moving into the new year will only hold you back. Since we’re on a roll with the examples, here’s some food for thought: Your boyfriend broke up with you (or vice versa) and you were heartbroken. Shattered, if you will. You decided that he is DEAD to you and you blocked him on everything (Nice! Good for you babe, we all know blocked is better). Now you’ve followed the formula for authentication and decided on inviting love into your life by radiating self love (Yes! We are so proud of you!). But, if you’re like anyone else on the blocked list, you’re a psycho bitch and a mental terrorist. You know every trick in the book to get guys hooked, you have “Cheat or be cheated on” mentality, you have listened to every episode of Call Her Daddy (S.O. Alex Cooper) and you are ready to hop on the fucking prowl babe. Slow down. Didn’t you metally terrorize your last boyfriend and mind fuck him into oblivion? And didn’t you break up? Look, I know some things aren’t meant to be and that’s that, and I also am a certified preacher of the Mental Terrorism bible however, if real and authentic love is your intention then we need to release the idea that being toxic is the only way to successfully acquire passionate love. We LOVE a good game of, well, games but, honey you need to let go of that mindset. In fact, you deserve to let go of that mindset. New Year means new men and not every guy is your fucktard ex. Back to reality here- See how ignoring and letting go are two completely different things? Mental Terrorism is only to be used when neccecary, it is not the key to a healthy relationship if you’re coming out the gate with it on every potential lover you meet. This is where your real progress will prevail.
So fuck New Years Resolutions and fuck trash day mentality. Let us end this year in a growth and learning psyche and begin 2022 with pure intentions that still allow you to be you. “New Year New Me” is out “New Year Authentic Me” is in. Get with it bitch.