How To: Surviving the Frat Boy Phase

insta: @haileyelle_

written by: Hailey Block

I, by all means would have been considered a “Frat Rat” at my former university. If you don’t know what a “Frat Rat” is, it is a girl like myself, who frequents frat parties and favors frat guys over their normal counterparts. Now, despite being in a situationship (hopefully relationship later) with a frat boy now (LOL), after I moved, I made a concerted effort to NOT talk to a frat guy and I’m going to tell you why.

When I first entered college as a freshman, all I wanted was to be invited to frat parties, frat boys were the elite to me. Well, elite in terms of hotness, sexual prowess, and liver strength. This, this was where I would find a hot guy I could talk to. I’m not sure why I thought that frat boys would take me seriously, because honestly they took me just as seriously as a Tinder date. That said, I had multiple hookups and situationships with frat guys during my two years there, and every. single. one. of them did not last. Why is that? Why was I so infatuated with frat boys of all people? Why not someone who treated me well (there were non-frat boys whose hearts I broke during my frat phase)? Why didn’t I pick someone who surrounded themselves with good friends rather than Chad, Brad, and 100-something girls every weekend? It had to do with my own maturity too. These boys in every sense of the word, used me and threw me away just like every other girl on that campus, I was just one of many, even when they were the only one to me. Being told time after time again that they just wanted to hookup, or weren’t ready for a relationship honestly really fucked with my self-esteem and self-worth, and I still struggle with it today. Because, after awhile I started to do to other guys what they would do to me and make them hurt the same way I had been hurt, which wasn’t fair. 

How did I come out of this phase not completely broken and heartless?

Over time, and yes this took quite a bit of time for me to realize, I realized that I needed to stop reading into every “situationship” or hookup with a frat guy and recognize the mindset. You can still be in college and have fun, and get fucked up with frat guys, but ladies, it’s all about the mindset. You cannot read into it, when they show you who they are, you need to take what is right in front of you. Do not expect them to commit, recognize the reality of the situation. The situation is that they are a large group of guys who revel in the fact that they can pull a different bitch every night of the week and that they are surrounded by an ever-revolving door of girls in and out of the house. This does not mean that all frat guys are bad, or will treat you like shit, or no situationship will ever turn into a relationship, it just means you need to stay aware. Go into your frat boy phase with no expectations and guard your heart, it’s okay to feel something, but protect yourself. If you insist on doing a consistent hookup or situationship it must be mutually beneficial, once that stops, you need to re-evaluate. Hooking up with frat guys or talking to them will not hurt you, your expectations and their failure to meet them will. And that is what you must remember in order to survive the frat boy phase.

Sincerely, 

an Ex Frat Rat

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